Stages of Dealing: Seeking Explanations

Why? The human response when bad things happen – death, loss of job, disease, mental illness. Our inquiring minds go into hyper-drive seeking an explanation for the unexplainable.

I will never know why my son has a mental illness. Oh, I know the biology of it. I know various other facts. But, I’ll never know why God chose my son over my neighbor’s son. That doesn’t stop me from wondering why.

Some people look for blame. Who or what can we blame? Like any other chronic illness, there is no one to blame. You didn’t cause it. Your loved one didn’t cause it. Society didn’t cause. Like diabetes, cancer, or high cholesterol, it happened.

Instead of seeking an answer to “Why?” seek facts. Learn all you can about your loved ones disease. Mental illness in general, your loved one’s disorder specifically. Find out the treatments. Find resources in your area?

I found comfort in some of the facts. Just knowing that my son’s behavior is the result of illness, not a character defect helped me move to a more comfortable place. As I learned the facts I was able to start helping him recover.

Seeking information will help move you to a more stable place on the stage of dealing. It doesn’t change the diagnosis. It does help you deal with it more rationally.

Bad things happen. Although we may never know why, with facts we can move forward.

To learn more about mental illnesses:
Amen Clinic
National Institute on Mental Health
Mental Health America

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