#MomFail Culture. Not!

You’re late getting to church — again. After service, a kind and wise elder lady gives you advice how to get your family in order, while your children run through the hallway. You hear, “Honey, it’s o.k. Some moms just fail.” Immediately the afterglow is gone.

messy houseEven when you stay home all day, it’s not much better. Dishes are piled up in the sink. Your kids need a bath. You’re pretty sure you didn’t win any awards for “the Most Patient and Gentle Mommy” today. Hot dogs are on the dinner menu again. And your beloved husband calls to say he’s bringing a business client home for dinner …. in 30 minutes.

Afte the children are in bed, you flop in a chair and grab a four-month-old magazine still lying in the pile of mail on the coffee table. The cover has a mom, with her makeup on and every hair in place, surrounded by her adoring children in matching clothes and clean faces. The teething baby isn’t even drooling.

On days like this you might be tempted to judge yourself even more harshly than that. Not only were you not at your best but actually, you’re a terrible mom. A pathetic homemaker. The day was a disaster. You probably deserve an F minus in motherhood. “I can’t do it. I can’t be a good mom. I am a #momfail.”

And on and on goes the litany in your head as you stew about the ways you didn’t match up or weren’t enough or were too whatever (angry, critical, impatient, disorganized, fill in the blank). Comparison with the other moms at the park, co-op, even the grocery store (“Why doesn’t her kid fall down screaming in the checkout lane?”) is the order of the day. Just one more #momfail.

You snap a shot of your depressing laundry pile and share it on Instagram with a self-deprecating comment and the hashtag #momfail. It’s only meant as a joke, of course, but deep down it feels a little truer, no, a lot truer,  than you wish it did.

If this sounds even remotely familiar, you need to know two things:

  1. You are not alone. Most of us feel this way far more than we ever admit.
  2. All the ways you failed? How awful you did today or last week? It’s just not true. You’re doing better than you think.

I’ve had these sorts of days myself, and it’s precisely because I get it that I’m so excited to point you in the direction of this brand new (and free!) video series created by two moms who have lived their fair share of #momfail days.

Stephanie and Beth are not only popular bloggers, but they’re also moms in the trenches. They’ve got 8 kids and almost 20 years of mothering experience between them.

They also understand and have the deepest compassion for moms who are working their tails off, but still hitting the pillow at night with a heavy heart and tear-stained face, because they feel like they’re failing at one of the most important things they’ll ever do in their lives.

And so they’ve put together an honest, candid and incredibly encouraging series of three videos just for moms. It’s called “The Truth About #MomFail Culture: 10 Things You Need to Hear on the Hard Days”.

It won’t solve all your problems, and much as they wish they could, they can’t reach through the computer and fold that pile of laundry for you. But we can all benefit from a fresh perspective and encouragement from someone who really gets it.

Each video is short, around 10 minutes, and you can watch it on any sort of device and whenever you’ve got a few spare minutes.

For immediate access to the first video today, just click this link and enter your name and email to sign up. You will be able to view one video per day after that. (This offer valid through Sunday, April 26.)

What is your #momfail?

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Comments (4)

  1. Susan K. Stewart

    Thank you, Julie. It’s an affliction all moms seem to suffer from. But we don’t need to.

  2. This is me exactly. I’m struggling big time to get things organized. My husband is OCD about housekeeping though sometimes I feel that he expects me to be the same way. At certain times I feel I need to ignore the house to take care of the kids. I can tolerate clutter, and a certain amount of dirt I was raised in a family of 4 children ( with 5 years age difference between oldest ( myself) and my youngest sister), and my parents are pack rats, and I am similar. My husband was raised in a household with two children ( 9 years in age difference), while both his parents are very organized and throw out everything. We have 4 children ages 6,5,2, and 1, therefore I feel like our life is more like it was when I was growing up. This is so hard. It is always a work in progress.

  3. Susan K. Stewart

    Jennifer, I’ve been told I’m a great organizer. I can organize everything from a national conference to a birthday, but not my home or even my desk.

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